Friday, January 07, 2005

*sad*

Fat Fingers is feeling a mixture of emotions right now..
Anger, Guilt, Ashamed, Confused, Sad, Lost..

A big FIGHT broke out at home today. :(
Fat Fingers really tried to ren.. but she couldn't control her anger this time.
She just felt that she had to stand up for herself.

Fat Fingers is ashamed of her actions and outburst her anger.

It may seem silly to have a fight with her sister over Fat Fingers hurting the feelings of Mini Me, the sister's daughter. (Mini Me was rude to Fat Fingers and Fat Fingers ignored her). The sister thought that Fat Fingers was wrong to do that. Fat Fingers still thinks that it is the sister's duty to discipline her own child especially when she saw it happening. And why should Fat Fingers be nice to someone who disrespects her?

There were many verbal abuses between Fat Fingers and the sister. Fat Fingers couldn't control her anger anymore and almost wanted to throw a stool at the sister. Actually she was just faking it .. she wanted to scare the sister so that she can shut up but it didn't work.

Fat Fingers tried to explain but everytime she tries, the sister will tell her to shut up and starts to give 101 reasons that Fat Fingers is in the wrong. Fat Fingers' mum told her to shut up too. :( Fat Fingers is hurt cos mum is forever on sister's side. :(

They think that Fat Fingers was wrong to ignore Mini Me and she was not senstitive to her feelings.. but are they sensitvie to Fat Fingers' feeling??

Fat Fingers went to her room to cry.. she was so upset and angry at herself that she has upset everyone again. She now feels guilty and ashamed over her behaviour but she wanted to stand up for herself but they just wouldn't listen to her!!

Fat Fingers is very sick of all these happening. It is not the first time. Sometimes Fat Fingers just want to be left alone in the room.. but they just keep coming at you! What was she supposed to do?? She had to fight back but sad to say.. she lost every battle..

Fat Fingers is so lost now.

To you, it may be just a silly fight. Another typical family argument. To Fat Fingers, it's about respect. It's about 27 years of history.

Fat Fingers is feeling this pain in her heart.. not sure if it's from the anger, the crying or because she has once again disappointed her mother and family. Maybe it's a heart attack....

Fat Fingers is sad.. :(

8 comments:

Jayaxe said...

Awwwww, I remember you said about a quarrel with your sister some time ago. But Mini Me? I thought she has been fine with you all along?

Anyway, don't be sad. Try to think about happy things like your boyfriend coming here!

alice said...

how about talking to them nicely afterwards?
and tell them what you are thinking?
i believe they will understand .
or .. do something which makes them
feels you care for them . yah.
like buy for them their favourite snacks etc.

hope it helps.

Scarlett Ting said...

Aww... *Hug*

I don't know why, but I felt a lot when reading thru this.. I don't have siblings so I don't face that but there are issues.. all 23 years of them with the 2 old ones at home.

the painful, afraid feeling crept in with every snippets of the past, filled with disappointment, rejection and hurt brewing that were brought forth to this very day.

I don't think you should feel ashamed nor guilt.. cos seriously, that was what they were trying to do to you right? to instil that into u?

not that i wan u to go against them, but it's a picture of unfairness i see here, and i dun tink u still need to be subjected to more of those u are already feeling.

Stay strong my dear!

Little Miss Drinkalot said...

Perhaps instead of ignoring Mini-Me, next time you can explain to her what she has done is wrong?

This time round, it might be good to apologise to Mini-Me for hurting her feelings, and then tell her what she did was wrong, and that she had hurt your feelings too. Might seem a little unfair, but the onus is always on the adult to be the magnanimous one.

As for your sister, talk to her another day when both of you have cooled off.

Disclaimer: This advice brought to you from someone who never reasons with her brother, but instead screams, slaps and kicks him when angry.

ningx said...

*hugs you*
i thought that arguments like that don't happen anymore once you passed being a teenager. how wrong i was.
i know how it feels like. sometimes i ''ren'' very long liao then cannot take it anymore i shout at my brother and my mom would start scolding me then i will go to my room to cry too. thankfully it hasn't happened for a long time. i'll feel the pain in my heart too..
i hope you feel better soon. :(

Bubblemunche said...

Poor Fingers :(! Think 2005 started off on a bad note for both of us.... *Big hug big hug*

I think kids tend to climb over your head once you are too familiar with them (my nephews and nieces climb over my head literally). I tried to be fierce with them once, but they laugh in my face :(

Me think LMD's advice is very good, can consider taking it up!

Aww..... Big hug again!!

Fat Fingers said...

Thanks everyone. I am feeling better already.

Sometimes i do try to explain to Mini Me but it's just hard to get the msg across. And sometimes it's not that i am ignoring Mini Me.. I just want to cool down before i talk to her...
But anyway, i've apologised to everyone for my behaviour and have told them to please try to respect me and let me finish what i want to say instead of just shutting me up...

I guess the best outcome for me and my sister is to agree to disagree..

defy angel said...

:) Glad to know that u feeling all right.....
I can totally understand how u feel at the time of the fight....Haha I also does that at home....sometimes I got so ANgry that I feel like tearing my sister's face...(when we fight...and we fight over many things in the past....like who gets the new bedsheet my mom bought...blar blar....den my parents always on my sister's side....I used to hate them....wanna....leave my house and stay on my own...hahaha....)

But u know sometime....not matter how often I quarrel with my family.....I always thank God (or whoever is up there) for the quarrels and arguements we had....Why?
Cos Im thankful that I have a family around for me to have quarrels with..... (do u get my meaning?)


So cheer up! :)